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Thursday, July 12, 2007

YOUR ENGLISH IS GOOD BUT WE NEED CASH


Hi all,


Just thought you might need a "hearty" laugh to relieve stress. I just had a good laugh now (with tears at that - you know me ).

Regards,


Lina (as posted by Rori)


YOUR ENGLISH IS GOOD BUT WE NEED CASH

Non-English speaking countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists:


Cocktail Lounge, Norway: - LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.


At a Budapest Zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.


Doctor's Office, Rome :- SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.


Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner in Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.


In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.


On the grounds of a Nairobi private school:- NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.


In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.


The best!!! In a Tokyo bar: - SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.


Hotel, Japan:- YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: - YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.


Hotel, Zurich :- BECAUSE OF THE PROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.


Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:- TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.


A laundry in Rome: - LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.


Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia : - TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS - WE GUARANTEE NO MISS CARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :- WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?


The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.


Airline ticket office, Copenhagen : WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.


The best!!!! In a Japanese cemetery:- PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

My own addition:

Posted in the bulletin board of a government office:
FOR IMMEDIATE LIQUIDATION and below it are names of employees who have not liquidated their cash advances. (Katakot, delikado!)


The Philippine Coconut Authority's mandate will be expanded to include overseeing the development of pili nuts and cashew nuts in the country, after which it will be renamed, Department of Nuts. Would you like to work in this office?

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