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Thursday, July 5, 2007

Recycled Jokes

Tanong lang. bakit ang GENERAL pag nagkasakit sa PRIVATE hospital dinadala para magpagamot? Samantala ang PRIVATE ay sa GENERAL hospital dinadala? Why? Gud pm!

Ano tawag sa grupo ng ibon? Flock;
baka? Herd;
lions – pride;
bubuyog? Swarm;
isda? School;
ants? Colony;
wolf? Pack;
buwaya? Mamili ka, lower house o senate


A gang decided to rob a bank, they opened every vault and found no money. Only cups of yogurt. They ate the yogurt. Next day, in CNN news: “biggest sperm bank robbed!”

Dodi: ma! Muntik na akong maging top 1 sa klase!
Mama: bakit mo naman nasabi yan?
Dodi: in-announce kc kanina ung top 1 sa klase… ang tinuro ni ma’am ung katabi ko…muntik na ako! U!

Manoy: kalokohan! ‘dai ako natubod… mayong taong arog kayan kataba!
Manay: sain mo nabaritaan ‘yan?
Manoy: digdi sa dyaryo, sabi, “British just lost 2 thousand pounds!”

A man killed a deer and cooked it but doesn’t tell kids what it is. He gives a clue, “ganyan tawag sa akin ng mama nyo”, one kid cries out: "wag nyo kainin. Demonyo yan!"

Tanong ko lang sabi nila, ang pinakamalibog daw na hayop ay rabbit. Pero marami ding tao ang nagsasabing cow daw! Cow nga ba? Ano sa palagay mo? Ako sa tingin ko cow nga!

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.” Let’s drink to that.

Di ba si Bush kelan lang e naiputan habang nag-e-speech sa labas ng white house, kung dito iyon, ganito ang dialogue:
Lito L: Lintek na ibon yon, iniputan ako!
Bodyguard: Sir kukuha ako ng toilet paper.
Lito L: Wag na! paano mo pa mapupunasan ang puwet noon, nakalipad na! tanga!

Boy 1: busog n ako.
Boy 2: ano ka ba? Ubusin mo yan. D mo ba alam, maraming nagugutom sa buong mundo.
Boy 1: bakit? Pag inubos ko ba to mabubusog sila hah? Epal ka e!

A 90-yr old man went to a beerhouse.
Waiter: sir ano po gusto nyo GRO o CG?
Lolo: GRO alam ko, pero anong CG? Yun ba ung call girl?
Waiter: hindi po sir, care giver!

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