More Jokes and Puzzles

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.

"Don't know," the woman said.

He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U- turn and drove up to them.

"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either." (o matanda yan ha, wag batukan).



Bert stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing. Finally Danny, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking so long to make this shot?" "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make this shot a good one," said Bert. "Good Lord," said Danny, "you haven't got a chance of hitting her from here."

(Similarity in names is purely coincidental.)

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Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them. The first blonde wants to get to the other side so she yells to the other blonde, "Hey! I want to get to the other side of the lake but I can't swim. Please tell me how you did this!"The second blonde then says, " But you ARE on the other side!"

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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver--"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"

(Ganun ba talaga ang mga blonde Danny?)



PUZZLES


During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."


Do you agree?

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?"




Lost your way

You're travelling to some village. At some point there is a fork in the road. You could go two ways but only one of them leads to the village. Lucky for you there are two men standing next to the fork. But unfortunately one of them always lies and one always speaks the truth and you do not know who is who. Since the men do not really like to help you, you are allowed to ask one of them only one question. What question should you ask?

Puzzle by Queena N. Lee-Chua, PDI June 2, 2007

26 = Letters of the Alphabet

What about the following?

12 = S of the Z 12 Signs of the Z.....

1001 = A N

90 = D in a R A

24 = H in a D

88 = P K

Watch out for the Answers next Posting