WANTED IMMEDIATELY: A highly creative Scriptwriter

Malacanang urgently needs a good scriptwriter to be able to spin a credible story on what really happened in Malacanang Thursday last week. It is obvious that until now, they still don't have an official storyline. Hence, Gloria has remained silent, while her sub-alterns are speaking in different tongues, making incredible statements that nobody really believes.

"Galit na galit, si Presidente. She was asking because there were different statements coming out. None of us knew what was going on, honestly. So people were making statements, and she was wondering where everybody was getting their comments from, and wanted to find out what, if anything, anybody knew.” - Sec Ronnie Puno

"She ordered the Presidential Anti-Graft Commission (PAGC) to conduct a “thorough investigation” The parameters laid out by the president are very clear: The PAGC is mandated to find out, first, the source of the funds and second, who are responsible for giving the funds. No timetable was given by the Pres but a definite finding will be forthcoming." - Presidential Spokesperson Bunye. Yet, he already said “We would like to assure you that at this point, no government funds changed hands.” (So, tapos ang imbestigasyon, may conclusion na.)

"The money did not come from us. We can not give cash, what we give out is only a piece of paper which authorizes or tells government agencies that they can implement projects. And there is an election ban right now, so bawal ito." - Sec. Andaya

"(Giving cash gift is) Not, per se illegal. None of those who got the money said they had been asked to do something illegal in return. The element of any crime, would be for example, I am giving the money to bribe. But nobody has said this, she said. It must be specific, that it is being given to undertake something illegal. (A ganun, bright naman, meron bang magsasabi niyan?) The person was not identified so how do you do it? I can not run after a John Doe.... I have no personal knowledge of where the money came from – Acting DOJ Sec Agnes Devanadera. (Anong K nitong maging acting secretary?)

On Gov Panlilio's plan to return the money to Malacanang, “He should return it to her. Why return it to us? We don’t know that you ever talked to that person. That’s unfair and a little bit weird. I find it strange for us to find for them the people that they dealt with." - Sec Puno - ang galing, clueless sila sa nangyari sa loob ng palasyo. Kung wala silang alam, anong tawag sa kanila - MGA TANGA!