Airline Cabin Announcements

(photo taken from flickr - vm2827 - thanks)

Wala pong premyo sa mauunang lumabas sa eroplano.... and other airline cabin announcements.

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

"Thank you for flying Cebu Pacific... We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

"Welcome aboard Philippines Airlines ... To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight.. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. "

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Philippines Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

After landing the airplane and while taxiing towards the terminal, cabin attendant announced as passengers rise to retrieve their hand carry bags: "Manatili po sana tayong nakaupo habang hindi pa ganap na nakahimpil ang ating sasakyan, WALA PONG PREMYO PARA SA MAUUNANG LALABAS NG EROPLANO."